6 Times We’ve All Felt Like Texting an Ex

Let’s all sigh a collective “been there, done that,” because when it comes to texting our exes at inappropriate times, we’ve all reached for our phones—and hopefully used Herculean strength to put them back into our purses. But the urge is real, and it’s there more often than we might like to admit. Here are six times you’ve likely felt it, and why.

1. When you’re on a three-glasses-of-wine-to-the-wind breakup bender. While Sober You would never text ” I love you ” to an ex, alcohol lowers your inhibitions to the point that even the most ridiculous ideas seem but brilliant, Einstein-invented plans.

2. When you visit an old couple’s haunt. At your favorite picnic park or coffee cafe, it’s enticing to send your most vivid memory of that special space, hoping the reminder of better times will warm your ex’s Grinch-size heart.

3. When you miss him. Ex aches come in all forms—there’s the missing-him-so-badly-it-physically-hurts and the wistful you-just-popped-into-my-mind-and-made-me-smile moments, for example—and when they hit, it can feel as if the only way to numb the pain is to send an “I miss you” message.

4. When you see his relationship status has changed. Did he just get a girlfriend ? Or get engaged? Who isn’t tempted to pop back into his life to get the scoop and remind him you’re still around—and happily moved on, of course?

5. When you want to say “goodbye.” Whether you’re moving cross-country and know you’ll never see him again or simply need some other form of closure, a “goodbye text” can seem like a legitimate need. (I promise it’s not!)

6. When you hear “your song” on the radio. If you turn the station only to hear your love song’s lyrics blasting through your stereo, that’s totally a sign, right? Nope—but many of us would still be liars if we said we hadn’t tried that argument on ourselves.